Am I Being Manipulated or Just Changing My Mind?
This question can keep people stuck. Healthy influence exists, but what does it look like? People change each other’s minds through good arguments, new information, and genuine care. That’s not manipulation.
Here are some questions that can help you tell the difference.
Seven questions, one at a time. You don’t have to answer all of these. Sometimes one question is enough to cut through the fog. Nothing you choose here is saved or sent anywhere.
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For educational purposes only. This check-in isn’t a diagnosis or a substitute for professional care.
Where these questions come from
This check-in is from the Manipulation chapter of Navigating Complex Trauma & What It Does to You, book two in the There’s a Word for That series.
Where your answers landed
If your body shifted when you read any of these questions, a tight chest, a knot in your stomach, a sudden urge to explain why your situation is different, that reaction itself is information. You can trust it.
If you’re not safe right now
In the U.S., the National Domestic Violence Hotline is free, confidential, and open 24/7. Call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at thehotline.org. Outside the U.S., your local emergency number or a domestic violence service can help.
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Want more like this?
Ellen Tift writes about complex trauma, CPTSD, narcissistic abuse, and betrayal trauma. Sign up if you’d like updates on what she’s writing in your inbox. You can opt out any time.
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Please note: This check-in is for educational purposes only. It isn’t a diagnosis or an assessment of any person or relationship, and it isn’t a substitute for therapy, mental health care, medical care, or legal advice. Your answers aren’t stored or shared. If you’re concerned about your safety or wellbeing, please reach out to a qualified professional or one of the resources above. In an emergency, call 911 or your local emergency number.
Here is a list of several organizations around the world that help survivors in various ways.